Why do people think it's ok to be a dick to others?

Why do people think it's ok to be a dick to others? I really wish I knew.

Putting yourself out there on social media, in today's society, is a risk. You open yourself up to scrutiny, criticism and bullying - and that's not ok.

Social media, when used properly, can be an amazing thing. It raises awareness of campaigns and good causes, helps to find lost people/pets, and raises money for vital fundraisers. However, the minority ruin it for everyone else by using it as a way to bully others.

Just because someone is in the public eye, or because their profile is open to public viewing, does not mean that we know every single detail about their life. It is not an invitation to pass judgement or to be mean.

It is possible, believe it or not, to see something (or someone) that you don't like on your news feed and keep on scrolling. If you passed someone in the street and didn't like their outfit, or their hair, or their glasses, you wouldn't stop and tell them. So why is it ok to do it from behind a keyboard?

Why is it ok to bully someone? And do so in such a faceless way.

It's cowardly behaviour.

It’s 2020, yet STILL people take every word in the tabloids as gospel. They eat into the clickbait culture and hound people when they’re at their absolute lowest ebb. 

Trolls - who aren’t even brave enough to use their own names/accounts - BULLY people online relentlessly; just because they can.

The media feeds this vile culture. You only have to look at the comments section on Mail Online to see a fraction of some of the disgusting, unthinkable abuse people are subject to. That’s just a tiny proportion of it.

The media decided Caroline Flack was guilty of assaulting her boyfriend before Christmas. Despite the fact she appeared before court and entered a NOT GUILTY plea. Her boyfriend also vehemently denied that anything happened. Yet they continued - ripping into her at every available opportunity; fuelling those evil keyboard warriors to do the same.

Nobody knows what anybody is going through behind closed doors and it absolutely breaks my heart that there are people out there who are so unhappy with their lives that they see no other option but suicide. I’ve seen nothing but an outpouring of love since the news broke of her passing. 

No doubt if she’d known how many people loved her, she might have taken a different course of action. Instead, the trolls won. The hate - once again - overpowered the amount of love. Why?! Why can’t people just be nice??

We’re on a vicious cycle where someone high profile takes their own life, everyone says we need to be kinder, but it’s all forgotten when the next “scandal” knocks on the door of the press and another person’s life is left in tatters.

My heart breaks for Caroline Flack’s family and friends. And the family and friends of anyone else who has ever lost someone because of suicide.

People calling for Love Island to be banned as a result of her suicide are only serving to add to the problem. The problem is not Love Island.

In fact, the people that are in South Africa appearing on the show at the moment are probably in one of the best situations. No phones, no access to the outside world, no access to social media, and no way of seeing the poison that’s been written.

The headlines “game” last week showed just how damaging they can be, when the couples got upset about things written about them that weren’t true.

The problem here is not the show. The show is called Love Island, not Troll Island. It’s about love. It’s about friendship.

It all goes wrong when they enter the real world which, unfortunately, doesn’t seem to be as focused on love, kindness and friendship.

Taking Love Island off our screens won't fix this problem.

There needs to be tighter regulations on social media. And tighter regulations on how the tabloids operate. IPSO is there to regulate the media, but I feel they have some work to do when it comes to bullying people via the press.

They need to rein in their hateful articles, but maybe stop allowing people to comment. The comments section on Mail Online is like some cesspool for trolls. It’s vile.

I don’t know what it is about the internet that makes people think that they can say whatever they want about a person. I used to hate it when Tom had to do Facebook live videos for work because every time, without fail, the comments would be SO personal about him. Even on articles that he’d written, they’d write horrible, horrible things. He was never bothered by it, but it always upset me.

These nobs have no conscience and no concept of how their words affect not only the person they’re aimed at, but their family and friends, too.

None of this is caused by a TV show that’s about love.

It’s caused by a society that suddenly thinks it’s okay to be dicks to people for no other reason than you don’t like/agree with them.

And until that underlying issue is fixed, nothing else will be.

It scares me, the way the world is going. We can protect our children from almost anything. We can vaccinate them against diseases, keep them safe in the car, hold their hands when walking down the street, teach them about stranger danger, teach them to swim, teach them to ride a bike without stabilisers... but we can’t protect them from themselves and their thoughts. And we certainly can’t protect them from vile, horrible trolls who will beat them down quicker than they can ever get back up.

The world is a dark, dark place at times; and right now feels like one of them. I hope, finally, this is the catalyst for change.

No more lives should be lost this way. Please, just be kind to everyone.


I'm not the mum I thought I was going to be

Before Peyton was born, and even before I got pregnant, I always imagined the kind of mum that I would be.

I thought I'd be this patient, calm parent who spent her weekends baking, doing arts and crafts, and snuggling on the sofa reading nicely.

In reality, I probably couldn't be further away from that.

My patience is as thin as my postpartum hair and any moments of calm are quickly disturbed by Peyton trying to climb on the kitchen table/pull the cat's tail off/opening the oven door/turning the washing machine on/throwing her plastic toys at the TV screen. I shout way more than I thought I ever would and lose my temper quicker than she loses her socks.

I don't think I've baked anything since she was born. I fondly remember, when I was overdue, baking cookies one afternoon (and eating them all to myself, but that's neither here nor there) and thinking how lovely it would be to do that with Peyton once she was here.

But nope, I barely have time to make us a proper meal some days let alone spend hours baking (and then cleaning up the subsequent mess afterwards).

I always said that I wouldn't let her watch TV while eating or things on our phones while we were out. I swore I'd never let her eat snacks while she was in her pushchair, and definitely wouldn't let her eat things out of the shopping on the way around the supermarket. Oh, how naive I was.

I don't think a meal time goes by at home where she's not sat craning her neck in the highchair in the kitchen trying to see the TV in the lounge. I think she thinks that the TV is broken when it isn't turned on, because it's literally on all. the. time.

And when we're out, especially if it involves her sitting still at a meal, we always resort to the good ol' CBeebies app and plenty of episodes of Bing, Teletubbies, and anything with Justin pissin' Fletcher. It's the only thing that stops her climbing out of the highchair/trying to run amok/kicking off; and even then it only buys us half an hour.

It's all well and good having all these 'ideals' in your head before coming a parent, and all the things you would and wouldn't do, but in reality it's all so much different.

In reality, I'm often chasing myself around so much that I catch myself coming back. Between working full-time, making sure there's food in the fridge/cupboards, keeping the house clean and tidy, keeping on top of the ever-growing washing pile, organising childcare and making sure Peyton's always looked after, and looking after Tom (that's a full-time job in itself!), I sometimes have to resort to leaving Peyton to watch CBeebies just so I can get anything done.

I saw an article recently about someone who'd been on This Morning saying kids under a certain age (I want to say three, but I can't be certain) shouldn't have any screen time as it's bad for their health/development/something else that sounded important.

It riled me. Not least because I wish I lived in the perfect world that she must, to not have to resort to Justin Fletcher parenting your child for 20 minutes so you can have a poo in peace, or quickly put a load of washing on and empty the dishwasher; and to be able to take your child out for a meal and not have to stick the iPad in front of them just so you can wolf down your food before the inevitable kick-off because they want to run around the place causing havoc.  Imagine.

The comments on it were, surprisingly, all in favour of this woman and her screen time rules. I thought more people would be of my viewpoint given the fact that, you know, they were watching This Morning and taking time out of their day to comment on a social media post...!

Despite my reliance on CBeebies to get me through day-to-day life, and my inability to throw a Saturday afternoon baking activity into the mix, I don't think I've strayed too far away from my pre-parenting parenting ideas.

I am totally that mum who waits for the given opportunity when I can get my phone out and show off the most recent photos and videos of Peyton, I talk about her all the time, I think about her all the time when I'm not with her, I constantly worry about her, I love her so much that I genuinely can't imagine ever loving another child the same, and I'm totally and utterly obsessed with her. I love when she comes over to me for a cuddle and a kiss, I love when she walks down the street and reaches up to hold my hand, and I love the way she stands at the end of her cot waiting for me to go in and get her on a morning.

Yeah, she can be an arsehole sometimes and already, at not even 18 months old, knows what exact buttons to press with me (and the TV remote!), but she's such a funny, clever, little character and my world wouldn't be the same without her.

Ok, maybe it would be less expensive, less tiring, less busy and way less chaotic, but how boring would that be?!

So even though I'm nothing like the mum I thought I was going to be, I still think I'm doing a pretty good job.


Dubai as a family holiday destination

We've been back from holiday for what feels like forever now. We got back just over three weeks ago and, as crazy as it sounds, it almost feels like we didn't go.

I know that's stupid, though, because we made so many memories. Memories that will stay with us forever and that we can't wait to share with Peyton when she is older.

She had the absolute best time. She was in her element all week.

She loved the pool. She has no fear when it comes to water and was quite happy jumping in from the edge (to one of us waiting in the pool, of course!) We got some of the slip free shoes for her to wear which I would highly recommend to anyone with a little one. They basically meant that when she was running around the pool she didn't slip. They also kept her a bit more steady when she was walking around in the pool.

She also loved the beach. This is a sore spot for me because, while I love the beach, I hate sand. I have since I was little. 

I think she knew this, too, because she would scoop up big handfuls of sand and come and throw them at me. She also insisted on rolling around in it straight after having her suncream applied and ended up looking like a bloody Krispy Kreme. If that wasn't bad enough, she'd insist on climbing all over me and sharing her new body scrub.

We never lasted at the beach longer than an hour - I would've had a meltdown!

We stayed at a hotel at JBR; JA Ocean View to be exact. When we went to Dubai previously we ended up staying out right near the airport. This was about 20ish minutes away from the Burj Khalifa/mall, and what would probably be considered 'the centre'.

We said when we decided we would go back that we wanted to be more central, and nearer to more bars/restaurants/attractions. JBR is just lined with these.

There were so many restaurants, fast food chains, bars, and coffee shops. It was ideal.

We were half board in our hotel, so we could have our breakfast then either dinner or tea at the hotel. Our hotel was absolutely beautiful! Like everything in Dubai, it was so clean. The service was spectacular and the food was amazing.

It was right on the beach - yay...! - and had a rooftop infinity pool, as well as a small, shaded little pool.

We walked absolutely loads while we were away, something most unusual for me on holiday. Holidays for me used to be laying on a sunbed for 12 hours a day for the duration of our trip. I wasn't one to go out exploring and only liked a day trip if it involved getting a good tan (usually meant a boat trip!)

However, this holiday, I couldn't sit still. Not just because I had a toddler to chase down, but because there was so much I wanted to see and do.

We'd walk all along The Walk sometimes twice a day and enjoyed walking around the Marina, too.

It was at these points that Peyton would have her mammoth naps.

She slept so well during the day while we were away.

When I told people we were going to Dubai some would say they thought it would be too hot for Peyton, or asked how on earth she would cope with the heat.

She wasn't at all bothered, though. She was still running around and was still as active as ever. If anything, it meant she slept more during the day (which meant we got a bit more downtime!)

I was a bit worried before we went about how I'd feel while we were away. It's no secret that I've not been at my most confident since becoming a mum. In fact, I've been so hard on myself about so many things; mainly my body and appearance.

However, since getting to my target weight at Slimming World just before going, I've felt amazing. I wore a bikini everyday and felt so happy, content and comfortable the whole time we were there.

I didn't look and compare myself to anyone else on the beach or by the pool, and I embraced my wobbly bits, stretch marks and mum tum.

I have definitely learnt now how to dress for my new shape - high-waisted is always a winner for me!

We packed in absolutely loads while we were there. We only were away for a week but we had jam-packed days everyday.

Our first day we started at the beach, then by the pool, then went to the mall and had a visit to Rainforest Cafe (Peyton was in absolte awe here!), then watched the fountains. All before going back to the hotel for a late night swim and tea!

When we visited Dubai in 2017 we were only there for two full days before we went on to the Seychelles. On one of those days we did an open top bus tour - one of those hop on, hop off ones - so we saw pretty much everything. We just didn't get to do it all.

So that was our mission this time.

Although, we obviously had to make sure it was toddler-friendly/appropriate.

A few people have asked if Dubai is a place for a family-friendly holiday and I would 110% say yes.

It's like putting a city break and beach holiday into one. I described it when we first went as being like New York and London merging in the desert.

There's so much to do that you'd never be bored, but there's also the amazing weather so if you do just like to lounge by the pool/beach in the sun, you can bank on it being nice.

We have said we will definitely go back again as, still, there are things we didn't get to do; or couldn't because P was a bit small.

Everywhere is so, so clean it's incredible. One day we were walking along and as a couple got up off a bench, this guy appeared out of nowhere with a full cleaning kit and was spraying it and wiping it down. There were always people out cleaning and polishing the pavements, and you never saw any litter.

All the hotels and restaurants and bars were also spotless. It made me even more conscious about how messy Peyton can be when she eats. I always clean up after her anyway, but I felt like I needed to make an extra effort while we were away!

The people in Dubai are all so friendly, too. Everywhere we went everyone made such a fuss of Peyton, she was absolutely loving life.

A lot of people have misconceptions about it, given the stories that often appear in the media, but it's nothing like people perceive.

The first time we went I wore a long dress with my shoulders covered for when we were sight-seeing, only to see girls walking down the street in hotpants and crop tops, followed by a lady in full traditional dress.

Anything goes, just like it would here.

Of course, it's not the cheapest place in the world to visit. We knew this when we booked to go.

A few hotels do all inclusive deals but we opted to avoid these given 1. their upfront price and 2. the fact that we knew we wouldn't just be staying at our hotel for the full week. We wanted to explore and get out, and I'd feel less able to do this is I knew we'd paid up front for our three meals and drinks for the week.

We were more savvy when we went this time than previously. When we went in 2017 we were on our honeymoon (and pre-Peyton) so didn't bat an eyelid at ordering a shisha pipe or a bottle of wine.

This time, I think we only had three alcoholic drinks the whole time we were there!

We ate out, but didn't go crazy, and we were sensible in our choices of restaurants. As nice as it would've been to have eaten at all the fancy places, it would've been no fun with a wriggling child in tow who struggles to sit still for longer than it takes her to eat.

I think, in total, we spent around £600 for the week. And we didn't miss out on anything in doing that. We were a bit more clued up than previously and were prepared for the cost. However, we said we probably spent about the same as we would have if we'd eaten out everyday in this country and done days out every day in a week off.

We got such a good deal on our holiday itself that we didn't mind the spending money while we were there.

Upon speaking to friends who live there, we discovered we got our flights and accommodation for a week cheaper than they can get one-way flights home. We knew it was a bargain but just didn't realise how good.


Included in our holiday were three (free) tickets to one of the Dubai Parks and Resorts attractions of our choice. Of course, we picked Legoland. (I say we, I mean Tom).

I'm not a massive fan of Lego, it's not something I've really played with or thought much about since I was little, but even I was impressed with it.

It was such a fun day out and it was so nice to see Peyton so interested in everything.

There were loads of rides, most of which she was too small for, but there were a few she was able to go on. There was also a big, shaded play area for little ones which she loved.

We chose to go on Sunday, which is a working day in Dubai, as we thought it would be quieter.

We were practically the only ones there. When we arrived Tom said it reminded him of when Shrek and Donkey arrived in Duloc and there was just nobody around.

It was great, because it meant Peyton could run around without us worrying she was going to get lost/snatched, and also meant no queuing.

It was a super hot day that day, as it's basically out in the desert. However, none of us were really too bothered.

We got a taxi from where we were staying to Legoland. I had looked and we could have got the Metro, then a taxi, but one of the concierge people in our hotel said it was best to avoid that when with a little one.

I was glad she said this as I really didn't fancy carting the pram on a train!

Taxis are really cheap over there, we just used them the whole time.

Our taxi from the airpot to the hotel (which was about 40 mins) was about £30ish, we got taxis into the mall, up to Atlantis when we went there for the day, and to Legoland.

Before we went, I was a little worried about how night times would go.

Dubai is three hours ahead, so I wasn't sure whether to adjust Peyton to Dubai time or keep her on British. I was conscious of the fact that, if we moved her to Dubai time, her getting up at 6am there would be 3am at home - and I was not down for waking up at that time when we got home!

I thought it best to, where possible, keep her on UK time. It worked really, really well; on the whole.

At home, she goes to bed at 7pm. This meant that, while we were away, she was going to bed at 10pm.

Typically, our usual routine would be: (on Dubai time)
4.30pm-6pm - Nap for Peyton
6pm - head back to the room to start getting showered/bathed etc
7pm - go down for tea
7.30pm - go out for a walk/ice-cream/drink somewhere
9pm - back to the hotel
9.30pm - milk and some In the Night Garden
10pm - bed

At home, I always put Peyton to bed awake. I give her a kiss and leave her room and, within minutes, she's asleep.

We quickly learnt on the first night that us staying in the room with her didn't work.

She was in a travel cot in our room, alongside our bed.

On the second night we put her to bed and sat on the balcony, leaving her to fall asleep by herself. She slept that night from 10pm until 9am. It was the best sleep I have had in months.

It was also the best sleep of the week because, despite bedtime/nap times/meal times all staying the same as in the UK, she decided a 6/6.30am wake up was appropriate each day.

I gave up in the end and just accepted it. Thankfully, since coming home she's just slotted straight back into her usual routine and didn't start waking up at 3am wanting to start the day.

I think a big part of it was her waking up and seeing that we were there. I would hear her stir and, normally, she'd just go straight back to sleep. But next thing I'd hear would be "mama? Mama?" over and over until I got up.

All in all, though, she adjusted really, really well.

On one of the days we were away we went to the waterpark at Atlantis.

We had visited last time, but it was as part of our hop on, hop off bus tour. So was flying!

Given how much Peyton loves water, we knew it would be money well spent. Thankfully she was free, given the fact she was under two, becaue it was £60 per person for me and Tom.

It was totally worth it, though. As well as water park access we got to visit the aquarium and I've never seen the girl get so excited. She was losing her mind.

The whole day she splashed, played and smiled.

The pools in the little ones area were amazing. One was all rubber on the bottom to stop them slipping over, but also to cushion them if they fell.

There were splash pads and slides and all sorts.

We got there for it opening, so it was really quiet for the first hour or so. It gradually got to be really, really busy, though. But it didn't bother us, or Peyton.

The whole holiday she had the biggest, beaming smile on her face. The picture below was at one of the restaurants at Atlantis. She sat and ate cucumber sticks and hummus while watching Bing and, honestly, I think it's the epitome of her living her best life.

Here's just another picture of me in a bikini, because I was really feeling myself while we were away.

I wish I still looked like this now, I really need to snap out of the 'holiday' mode that I'm stuck in. I'm waiting until after my birthday for that, though!

While we were away Peyton had her first Five Guys and, I think it's safe to say it was a hit. I got us one to share, thinking she'd just nibble at bits - she ate the whole bloody burger! I was left with the bun (because she only eats bread if it's toasted..!) and chips.

Our hotel had a happy hour between 6pm and 8pm - timing in perfectly with when Peyton would be asleep. She usually woke around 6pm, but we had two nights where there was time for a cocktail by the pool, as the sunset, while she slept.

We honestly had the best week. When we booked it, and in the build-up, I thought a week would be enough. However, I think we would've probably liked to have been there a few more days. We were all so chill and just enjoying everything.

The hardest/most challenging thing was, most definitely, meal times. Peyton isn't a fan of sitting still and, once she had finished eating, she wanted to be off. We found the iPad bought us a bit more time, but even then we had probably about half an hour per meal time.

Oh, I have to tell you this tale before we finish...

Our bathroom had a bidet in it (I used to call them bum baths when I was little and had no idea until just then that's how they were spelt). Peyton has obviously never seen one of these before so was absolutely fascinated. All her toys used to end up in it and she would often turn the taps on and off. She soon discovered she could take the plug out, so I moved it onto the shelf out of the way.

One night she was brushing her teeth and toddled off into the bathroom. She was quiet, so I went to see what she was doing... She was only stood ramming her toothbrush, bristles first, down the bloody bidet plug hole!!!!!!

That went straight in the bin, needless to say.

She also curled one out on the carpet in our bedroom, but I won't go into full detail about that...!

Shit on the floor and toothbrush down the bidet aside, we had the most perfect week.

Dubai, we will be back!