"The best advice I’ve ever gotten was that I shouldn’t be in a relationship with anyone whom I wouldn’t marry, for it’s a waste of time and takes you off the market. So don’t worry about relationships – build friendships, and one day maybe you’ll suddenly meet your soul mate, or you’ll realise you want to spend the rest of your life with your best friend. You’re young, and life shouldn’t be spent trying to fall in love or even having to worry about your partner. Your life right now should be filled with spending time on finding yourself and building friendships."
I saw this quote on Instagram the other day and I had to smile. My dad and brother are forever criticising me, most of the time in a playful, light-hearted way, about my lack of a boyfriend. I've been single for about four years now and, when I tell people this, I always get the same reaction: ‘oh my god, why?!’
Why? That’s an interesting question, and the answer would differ depending on who you asked. My dad and my brother would say it’s because I am high maintenance, argumentative, opinionated, difficult, hard work.... The list goes on. They really know how to sell me! I, on the other hand, would say it’s because I am too picky. I don’t want to settle and be in a relationship with just anyone.
Of course, there comes the odd day when I do wish I had a boyfriend, usually when I am hungover/on the odd Sunday when I fancy being snuggled up in bed watching films all day.
The rest of the time, I am quite happy on my own. I enjoy not having to worry about whether what I am doing will upset someone else or try and fit them in to my hectic life. And I like always being able to put my family and friends first.
Until the right person comes along, who I can see myself spending the rest of my life with, I am not willing to give up my freedom; and I don’t think others should be so quick to.
Everyone knows someone who jumps from one relationship to the next. Whether this is because they don’t like to be on their own, or they are always inundated with men throwing themselves at their feet, I’m not sure. Each to their own, at the end of the day. If that’s what makes them happy, good on them!
We live in the 21st Century where there is no longer a stigma attached to being single. Beyonce gave all single women their anthem; which definitely trumped Natasha Bedingfield's efforts.
Now is the time to explore the world, work on yourself, build friendships, and, most of all, have fun.
A lot of my friends are in relationships; and have been for some time. In some ways, I envy them and feel a bit left out when they always have plans with their other halves. But, in other ways, I am glad that I am single and don't have anyone to work my plans around/answer to.
I like being able to do what I want, when I want, and, most importantly, with who I want. Besides, I’m a firm believer in the harder you look for something, the more difficult it is to find. As soon as you stop looking, the right person pops up where and when you least expect it; and it's usually an existing friend.
Being single for a long period of time doesn't mean you're a man-hating feminist. I'm certainly neither of those things - I love Blurred Lines & shaving my legs. I haven't written this to declare my dislike for the male population! I'm not anti-men by any means, or anti-relationship for that matter, just anti-relationship-for-the-sake-of-it. I'm all about my friends right now.
It also doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you if you've been single for a while. Quite the opposite, actually. It means you’re a strong woman who refuses to settle for anything less than you deserve.
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