04/09/2014

60 things you'll hear when you live with girls

Whether you live in an all-girl household or its mixed, when females live in close proximity with each other for anything length of time, you are bound to hear some of the following phrases/questions/statements uttered on a regular basis:

1. "Has anyone got any kirby grips?"

2. "How should I have my hair tonight?"

3. "Is this going to be a 'heels' night out?"

4. "Can I get in the shower first or do you want to get in?"

5. "Are you wearing that dress I borrowed once before?" *No* "Oooh, can I borrow it then please?"

6. "Can I use someone's hairspray?"

7. "Has anyone got any dry shampoo?"

8. "Did you know Ben & Jerry's is on offer at Morrisons?"

9. "Did someone lock the door?"

10. "Shall we order cookie dough?"

11. *Lying in bed, hear a man's voice in the house* "WHO'S THAT?!" *Promptly texts all occupants*

12. "David Beckham, though"

13. "Should I get a fringe?"

14. "Those are man's shoes...who has a man in the house?!"

15. "I need to do a wash, I've only got my 'period pants' left"

16. "What nights are we going out this week?"

17. "Taxi will be here in ten minutes - has everyone got their bags and had a wee?"

18. "I've not eaten anything yet today"

19. "I can't stop eating today"

20. "I need to go to the library this weekend" *Spends the entire weekend in bed watching Revenge*

21. "Can I get away with not wearing a bra?"

22. "David Beckham, though"

23. "I haven't shaved my legs for weeks"

24. "I bet my legs are hairier than yours"

25. "I'd better start getting ready now because I need to wash my hair"

26. "Anyone want to go get cake?"

27. "One more episode, then I'll get ready"

28. "Is he fit?"

29. "Does he have any fit brothes?"

30. "I'm really bloated"

31. "I'm going to do my washing today" *Cue every available surface area covered in clothes and underwear*

32. "When I get married..."

33. "I need a big poo before I can wear that"

34. "Our bathroom is disgusting" *Nobody does anything about it*

35. "Let's watch The Notebook"

36. "That's just like that time in Friends when..."

37. "Does anyone have an eye liner sharpener?"

38. "Have you got any spray?"

39. "Will you tan my back please?"

40. "Can you tell I'm not wearing any pants?"

41. "Today is a fat day"

42. "I'm not going out this week, I have no money and loads of work on" *Wakes up the next morning in a pool of self-loathing and shame with the hangover to end all hangovers*

43. "David Beckham, though"

44. "It's ok, I only need a body shower"

45. "He was a dick anyway"

46. "Is it too early for wine?" *Never*

47. "Why don't we look like Michelle Keegan?"

48. "I think I'm pregnant"

49. "She looks so much better in that than me, I'm going to the gym tomorrow."

50. "I can't be bothered going to the gym, wanna get a Chinese?"

51. "Frizz is an issue today"

52. "I wish McDonald's had no calories in"

53. "Have you seen his new girlfriend?!"

54. "Let's Facebook stalk her"

55. "You're a million times better than her"

56. "Let's get wine"

57. "I think I have another stretch mark"

58. "What is my hair doing?"

59. "Which Instagam filter shall we use?  I like Valenica."

60. *After a few glasses of wine* "I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!"

Being a girl and living with girls is the best, isn't it?!

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