Confessions of a Slimming World target member, part two.

I've had quite a lot of people asking me to write another Slimming World blog recently, but I've been really struggling with what to write about.  I haven't kept a food diary since my first week at target (not that it would really do anyone much good to follow that at the moment) and I haven't even been to Slimming World for four weeks now.

Appalling, I know.

I am going this week, though. So maybe writing a blog will get me in a good mindset to go back.

I would have gone last week, or even the week before, but I've been so busy with work and, to be honest, I haven't felt like I've needed to go.  I don't feel like I've put any weight on (I've maybe put a pound or two on, but nothing major).  My new, smaller clothes still fit me comfortably - some are even still too big - and I haven't fallen off the bandwagon and started eating butter straight out of the tub with my hands.

I think I'm in control.  I have struck quite a nice balance, really.  I eat cake and chocolate, but I still eat Slimming World meals too.  I don't count my syns, but I do still count my healthy extras and try my best to get one third of speed on my plate every meal time.

When I say I don't count my syns, I mean I don't write everything down.  I keep a rough tally in my head of how many a day I am on and still have days where I don't use any.

I still like trying new recipes to keep me motivated and on track - after going wedding dress shopping the other week I realised how important it was to keep where I am and not slip back into old habits.  I threw all my big clothes out, anyway, so I definitely can't let myself go back there.  I can't afford new clothes and I definitely can't afford to be arrested for indecent exposure.

Some days I still feel 'fat', which really aggravates me.  I know I'm not fat now.  For the first time in my life I can actually say with confidence that I know I am not fat.  There are literally no words to describe how it feels to know that.  But, like any other person, I have fat days.  When they creep up on me, I just have a couple of days 100% back on plan and all is well with the world again.

The other week, me and my mum went for a mammoth afternoon tea in Harrogate and, hell's bells, it was amazing.  I literally ate every last crumb on the plate - there was probably about whole month of syns there - but I ate it all.  I didn't care, it was amazing.  But I didn't dwell, feel guilty, punish myself or let it define the rest of my choices that weekend, I just got back to it the next day and it was fine.

I lived to tell the tale (every tasty mouthful of it!)

Me and Tom had a week off last month and had a very foodie week - fish and chips at the coast, syrup-y bacon pancakes, pick 'n' mix, cake - but I honestly wouldn't want to live a life where I didn't get to enjoy foods like this.  I literally plan my whole day around the food I am going to eat.  Any socialising I do 99.9% of the time involves food.  Without it, I'd die, but I'd also be so miserable.

Who the hell wants to just nibble rabbit food when you can strike this amazing balance and still lose weight?

I still get people now saying how great I look and how much weight I've lost, and those comments will never stop motivating me to keep at it.  To hear the lady in the bridal shop tell me what a tiny waist I have, and to swap Slimming World stories (she also was doing it and has lost a stone so far - woo!), was fab.  It's like some sort of sisterhood (and brotherhood) that immediately bonds you when you realise they too do Slimming World.

I also got a really, really lovely message from a complete stranger on Facebook a few weeks ago which took me completely by surprise but was so, so sweet.

This is what it said:

It was so lovely to know that not only have I inspired my own friends and family members, but I have also inspired people who don't even know me, and just stumbled across my blog on Google (cheers, Google!)

Realising that has really spurred me on to keep up with the blogging, not only to keep myself on track (I feel like I have to keep maintaining my weight now I've shared my journey with so many people) but to also motivate (and entertain, I'm told) others.

I'll be stepping back on the scales on Wednesday night after a very long absence.  I may have just crept out of my target zone but if I have it will only be by a pound or two (imagine if I've put half a stone on now, I'll be mortified!!) Even if I have slipped out, I have a whole week to get back in before I have to start paying again.  And hell, if getting back in my target range wasn't motivation enough then paying £.495 a week again certainly will be!!

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