I was so, so annoyed last night. Annoyed with myself and annoyed with life.
A week after my Slimming World group voted me to be Diamond Member of the Year for 2017 for our session, and I crept out of my target range for the first time since February. Fuming.
It was only by half a pound, but still, I don't wanna be floating around the top.
I was so annoyed, and disappointed, because I felt like I'd had a really good week. I didn't have my usual post-group binge last Wednesday, I was organised with my dinners at work, I planned teas at home... I went into group thinking I had maybe even lost weight, if not maintained, so I couldn't believe it when I stepped on the scales and they said I had put 1.5lbs on.
I was so disappointed because I have done so much exercise and activity this week that I was sure I would have lost weight. I've been doing couch to 5k, and have done 3 runs since last week's weigh-in. I also went on a long walk on Sunday, and on Wednesday night before group, and have done close to, if not over, 10,000 steps every day. So to say I was miffed is an understatement.
I have a week to lose the half a pound to get back into my target range, but I want to lose more than that. I want to be comfortably in my range, nearer the middle if possible.
I've been so good at maintaining over the last few months, hovering around that purple target line. I really don't like the sudden jolt above it that we're seeing this week. Next week, it will be back down. I'm determined.
As I sat digesting my gain last night - and wanting to punch my dad, who'd just returned from two weeks in France gorging on bread, cheese, wine and beer and still lost 4.5lbs - I decided to go back to basics this week. I'm going to count my syns - and stay within 15 every day - and up my speed intake with meals.
I have been a lot more flexible with my syns since getting to target, it's the easiest way I've found to maintain, but I need to string a few losses together now.
I'm a bridesmaid for my best friend in six weeks, and we're going on our honeymoon in 10, so I have lots to aim for.
It's a slippery slope once you get out of your target range. It happened to me last year.
It starts with just half a pound, as I am now. Then it's another half a pound, but "it's ok because it's easy to lose 1lb". Suddenly, you've missed group. It's ok, though, because you'll go next week and just have a really good "on plan" week to lose those extra pounds.
The week doesn't go to plan, you don't want to go back until you're back in your target range, you've surpassed your grace week and you don't want to have to pay again, so you stay away.
Before you know it, the weight has creeped back on, slowly but surely, and you're in a real pickle.
That's exactly what happened to me last year.
I thought I could do it alone. I couldn't. Then I didn't dare go back to group. I didn't want people to think I was a failure.
But nobody would, because everyone is so supportive.
A lady at our group summed it up perfectly last night "you're never a failure if you keep trying."
And you're not.
Keeping going to group is the key for me. I will lose half a pound or more next week to get me back into my target range. I don't want to have to pay and I don't want to get onto that slippery slope away from target.
It's so easily done, but it needn't be. As I said last week, this is a plan for life. It's a lifestyle change, not a diet. I don't restrict myself of anything, if I want to eat something then I will. I enjoy every single syn that passes my lips and never deprive myself of anything I fancy. Food optimising isn't a fad, it's forever.
I have already planned my meals for the rest of today and tomorrow. I have done my online shop with Morrisons to come on Saturday morning and it is packed with fruit, vegetables and meat.
I am also going to keep myself a food diary, and publish it with next week's post. I really like doing that because I will literally write everything down that I eat. It keeps me massively on track, makes me accountable for any gain I may have, and helps to keep my daily syns under control.
So, here we go, I'm having another "week one" this week - wish me luck!
You may also like: Confessions of a Slimming World target member
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