14/02/2018

How do you know when you've found 'the one'?

I have a feeling, now I have written the title for this post, that I may have written a post with a similar - if not the same - title before. Hey ho, let's explore the topic again, as it's Valentine's!

We've all been there - find someone you think is perfect, invest your time in them, start to fall for them, then have it all blow up in your face.

They're either too clingy, or not showing enough interest; they're too interested in themselves, or too interested in other girls; too pushy, or too laid back - you're probably sensing a pattern.

We've all had our hearts broken, whether we thought they were 'the one' or not. We've gone back to people we've sworn we wouldn't, thinking that they were maybe 'the one that got away' and that they've perhaps changed since whatever went wrong in the first place. Only for it to all swiftly go Pete Tong again.

Yet, somehow, we still manage to see through our previous bad experiences, heartbreaks and bad luck with the opposite sex and find that perfect one person.


When Tom and I first started dating, it came really out of the blue. At first, I was just happy to reconnect with an old friend - someone I hadn't spoken to for a few years. We'd lost touch during uni, so it was nice to catch up.

That is, after the initial embarrassment on my part of Tom telling me to text him, only for me to admit that I had, in fact, deleted his number. Awks.

He asked me on a date but, after realising I had literally just applied for a job in the same office as him, I politely declined.

I didn't want to potentially end up starting a new job with any awkwardness or weirdness - particularly after learning that the office was just me, him and one receptionist!

He'd asked me out on dates previously, on more than one occasion. Reading back through our old Facebook messages is a hilarious pastime.

Him forever asking me out - to the cinema, for food etc. - and me coming up with reasons to say no, excuses not to go and just generally rejecting him while still trying to be polite.

After rejecting him yet again, he still persisted. God bless him!


He said he would come round to mine the night before my interview to help me prep. I'm not naive, I knew he'll have had a hidden agenda. I said yes, because I really wanted the job, but I made sure he didn't get any signals from me.

He turned up and I'd just got out of the shower. My hair was wet, I had no make-up on, and I was wearing a mint green onesie. I hardly screamed 'sex appeal'.

Anyway, long story short, I didn't initially get the job. I was really gutted, and Tom said he would take me out to cheer me up. Nothing like striking while the iron is hot, ey TK!

We went to the cinema to see The Other Woman and got some food. And it was really, really lovely. From there, we started seeing more of each other. Spending more time together, going on dates and hanging out all the time. It was so, so nice.

A few weeks later I got a call to say I'd got the job. I couldn't believe it - I was starting a new job where I'd already slept with my only other colleague. Great start, Nat!

I was sceptical about us carrying on seeing each other incase anything went wrong and it was mega awkward. It never goes well for me spending loads of time with one person. I get very agitated and fed up very quickly. However, I persevered, as things were going really well between us and I genuinely couldn't see why anything would be awkward if things didn't work out. We got on really well and had been friends to start with, so it could just be something we'd laugh about.

Anyway, this time, it worked! I couldn't spend enough time with him. Even after seeing him every day and every night for weeks, I missed him the first night we were apart.

And that's when I knew.

The fact I still wanted to see him, for the 50th consecutive day, told me everything I needed to know.

Everyone has a different moment when they know. But when you know, you know.

Whether it's someone you've known for years, a friendship that has developed into something more, or a person you've met for the very first time. You never know when your first kiss with someone might become your last ever 'first kiss'.

I have kissed a lot of frogs in my time, but I wouldn't change any of that if it meant that I still ended up with Tom at the end of it. Of course, I'd rather have saved myself the hassle and heartbreak along the road and just gone out with him when I was 17, when he first asked. But, who knows - if I had, would it have worked out the same? Probably not, especially with the distance of uni being thrown into the mix!

Everything happens for a reason, after all, and I couldn't be happier with how we found each other and things worked out.



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