I had a realisation the other night, while watching Pointless, that I am old. And no, it wasn't watching Pointless that made me realise that.
Okay, maybe "old" is an exaggeration, but I am definitely (more) sensible now.
It was a "celebrity" special - aptly named Pointless Celebrities - and Fern Britton was on it with her daughter. As they swapped places behind the little podium, I noticed what her daughter was wearing.
"My god, her dress is short!" I said to Tom. "You'd almost be able to see her bum if she turned around."
And that, right there, was when I knew. It was so funny because my housemates from uni even messaged our group chat with old photos from uni and we all said how short our outfits were and how we'd never wear anything like that now.
From the age of 17 to around 21, I would have worn that dress Fern Britton's daughter was sporting. I would have probably worn it so that it just covered my bum cheeks. Hell, I sometimes used to wear t-shirts as 'dresses'. I wouldn't have batted an eyelid - the shorter the better was always my motto.
When I look back at what I used to wear, particularly at university, I never, ever wore anything that wasn't short. And I don't regret it, not for one second. But gosh, you wouldn't catch me in anything like that now. I get paranoid when something goes too high above my knees!
But when I was younger, and I felt like the most grown-up person in the world, I was far more confident. Confident about my body, about myself, and about pulling risqué outfits off. I look at pictures from uni where I am wearing leopard print hot pants and I can see how confident I was in my smile, my pose, and my whole body language. And what reason did I have not to be confident? I was happy in myself and, sure, I could pick flaws - but what girl couldn't?
I still have those leopard print hotpants. Not to wear again - I don't think I'll ever see the day I leave the house in them again. But to remind me of how happy and confident I was to wear them.
I remember someone saying to me they were worried if I was "ok" after seeing some of the outfits I wore when I was at uni. I was more than ok - I was so happy.
We're too quick to judge women based on what they wear. I've said before that the argument that a woman is "asking for it" just because she's wearing something short, or revealing, is absolutely barbaric.
I wish I still had the confidence - and the body - to pull off some of the outfits I used to wear. But, then again, I'd look a bit overdressed for walking around Morrisons and sitting in Costa with an iced latte; and they'd just end up covered in baby sick! At least it would make a change from my own...
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