23/05/2015

12 types of girl you meet in the ladies loos on a night out

It's a place where friendships are forged, scandals are swapped and lipsticks are loaned - the female toilets in any pub, club or bar on a night out are a hive of activity and drama.

The ladies loos are sometimes more interesting than what is going on outside, and you always meet at least one of these people while paying a visit...

1. Your soul sister
It often goes something like this: 'Oh my god, we have, like, so much in common! And you look so beautiful in that dress! You're so skinny! Oh my god, like, we have to go have a dance. I'll buy you a drink! Where do you live? We have to go out together soon for drinks!!' But, once outside of the realms of the toilets, you never see each other again. To all the ones who got away - thanks for those special moments.

2. The heartbroken girl
She's just been finished and her mates dragged her out to cheer her up, but she's just seen her ex and he's dancing with another girl so, obviously, she's escaped to the safety of the toilets for a good cry. Cue a whole host of strangers cuddling her and telling her 'Don't worry babe, men are all idiots. You're gorgeous and seem dead nice, you'll find someone else!' Tissues, mascara and concealer are exchanged ahead of the heartbroken girl heading for a taxi home.

3. The 'she's too drunk' girl
Usually found in a cubicle with her head down the loo while the toilet door swings open. Her friends are usually outside arguing with the bouncer to let them bring a glass of water in for their intoxicated friend. She'll claim she's 'not had that much to drink' and 'must have eaten something dodgy' in between being sick.

4. A former classmate or work colleague
The 'how have you been? What are you doing now? Have you seen so-and-so recently?' conversation will follow as you try to figure out who exactly it is that you are talking to.

5. The overly friendly girl
You don't really know her but she's hugging you; complimenting you, your outfit and your make-up; and she's started stroking your hair. For a second, you wonder if you do know her, but usually it's just a very drunk, very friendly stranger. 

6. The designated driver
Always the one who is most bothered that there's no toilet paper and that the doors don't lock. Drunk girls don't seem to care about that but, for the sober soldiers, it could be the straw that breaks the camel's back. The designated drivers are easy to spot - they tend to not have a hair out of place, their make-up still looks pristine, they aren't speaking at 100mph and will not need to lean against the wall to stand upright.

7. The photographer
The ladies toilets is where the best photo shoots on a night out take place. But, for them to be possible, you need to meet a kind stranger who is willing to snap away as you and your friends pull ridiculous poses. Without these kind-hearted souls, thousands of drunk, embarrassing night out photos would not exist.

8. The ones sharing a cubicle
You've been waiting for what feels like an eternity for the toilet and when the door opens you realise why - four girls pile out. Girls toilet cubicles must be like a tardis - it's amazing how many people you can fit in there at once.

9. The friends trying to stage an intervention
'Stop it, he's using you! Don't go there, stay with us and don't look at him. He's a bad person, you need to get your head together. Be strong!' Soon, every girl in the toilets is chipping in with their words of support and encouragement for this intervention. Go on sister!

10. The girl wearing the same outfit as you
This could go one of two ways. It either leads to some very dirty looks being exchanged and a couple of 'well, I look better in it' remarks being dropped or it is totally laughed off and hugged out: 'oh my god you look amazing in it, I wish it looked that good on me!'


11. The crier
She's not had her heart broken, she's not grieving, she's not lost her friends - she's just sad. Nothing anybody says can console her and nobody can understand why she is even crying. Cue everyone leaving and her being left sat on the sink sobbing.

12. The angry drunk
She doesn't like queuing, she doesn't like the music being played, and she definitely doesn't like anyone else around her. She's probably an absolute dear when she's sober and won't even remember her angry bitch tendencies.


So there you have it. If men ever wondered why women go to the toilet in groups, or why it takes us so long, there is your answer. There are so many weird, wonderful and wacky people to meet in the girls toilets on a night out. We meet our short-term best friends - never seen again after the first meeting - and we discover every drunk person on the spectrum.


Never mind having met at least one of these on a night out, we've all been them!


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