Confessions of a Slimming World target member

I now truly understand what people meant about the hard work really beginning when you reach your target weight.

Since I hit target three weeks ago I have, pretty much everyday, gone well over my 'syn allowance'.  My first week as a target member was ridiculous - how I only put one pound on I will never know.

My second week was much better on the whole, but still contained lots of alcohol and, with it being Easter, chocolate.  Chocolate has really become my downfall since I hit my target.  Easter hasn't helped because it has been everywhereeeee.

I didn't get weighed last week, so I don't know what damage week two did.  I was determined that week three I would be better, back to the SW ways and undo the damage.  But it didn't work out too well.

I was still shovelling the chocolate in and going over my syns.  I really need to learn some self-control.

But, in between beating myself up for being a 'failure', I realised something.  And it was important.  My Easter chocolate binges were not even worthy of being called binges.  Compare them to Easter last year, or the year before, when I'd have a whole large Easter egg for breakfast and chocolate all day, everyday, until I had none left.  This year has been tame.  The most I've eaten in one day was half a large Cadbury Easter egg.  That was the most naughty stuff that passed my lips in a whole day over Easter.  That's literally nothing!

The worst night for me was last weekend, when I sat and accidentally ate three-quarters of a chocolate orange.  Even so, that's probably up there syn-wise with the chocolate egg shell.

What I realised was that all of my meals have been super SW friendly and all syn free.  I've been 110% on it at meal times, still getting plenty of those vital speeds on my plate and, when I'm at work, choosing to snack on fruit instead of chocolate.

My chocolate cravings come on a night time, after tea, when I see all the Easter eggs lined up on the table.  But, I saw a small victory yesterday, when I didn't eat any chocolate.  Not just no chocolate, I had no syns!  A totally syn-free day for the first time in over three weeks and it felt fabulous!

I didn't set out to have a syn-free day, but doing it and seeing how good I felt at bedtime had spurred me on to go for another one today.

I also think I unintentionally did an SP day (for those who don't do Slimming World it's essentially where all your meals/snacks are speed and protein, no free food) which also spurred me on a bit.  I don't fully understand SP, though, and I'm not going to worry myself about it now.  If I did do it, fabulous.  If not, it's no hardship.

I am guilty of being too hard on myself, but I think we all are.  I know I've put weight on since I last went to group, but I am back in the right headspace now to get it off as quick as I put it on.

Being a target member is hard - the temptation is there even more and you feel fantastic so can always justify giving in.  I was saying to my best friend the other night that I will still eat chocolate, and enjoy cake and biscuits and crisps.  I would hate to live a life without them, it would be so boring.  But it's getting the balance right and making sure that I don't slip back into old habits.

I don't think I will, because I am so happy how I am now.  I'm feeling so much more confident and so excited about wedding dress and bridesmaid dress shopping for mine and my best friend's weddings next year.

As I've been writing this I've been tucking into my breakfast - porridge (35g oats HEB) with skimmed milk (200ml of 350ml HEA allowance) with lots of speedy berries mixed in.  Lunch today is chicken and bacon salad, with melon and strawberries to snack on throughout the day.  Then tea is chicken supreme at my parents house.  My mum is now cooking the Slimming World recipes so going to theirs doesn't mean I come off plan now, which is fab.

As a motivation to get me back into the right Slimming World mindset, I've been trying some new recipes (which I will post separately.)

I did some lovely stuffed peppers and an amazing syn-free macaroni cheese!!!  I'm also in the process of making syn-free chicken liver pate and red onion marmalade (would have made it last night but needed my chicken livers to deforest!)

If you're feeling like you've lost your motivation in your weight loss, whether you are following Slimming World or not, don't try and force yourself to get back on it.  The more you force it, the more you'll fall.  As soon as I tell myself I can't have something, I want it ten times more.

Don't beat yourself up about your 'failures' or falling off the wagon.  Chances are, you've achieved some pretty big things without even realising.  Like choosing skimmed milk instead of semi-skimmed, or making your own chips instead of using frozen, or using Frylight instead of oil.  All those little things make a very big difference.

Keep at it and remember how far you've come, you'll find your way back onto the right path in the end.