Pain relief or not, we should be proud of every woman who gives birth

There's been a big debate this week (when isn't there?!) after Harry Kane tweeted about the arrival of his new baby girl.

Photo from @HKane on Twitter.
Quite innocently, and rightly so, Harry tweeted the message saying how proud he was of his fiancée for bringing their new baby daughter into the world. It was the last bit that seems to have got everyone's back up.

"So proud of you @KateGoodlandx for having the most amazing water birth with no pain relief at all."

Dun dun dunnnnnn.

Yes, apparently the society that we live in today means that everyone is so easily offended by everything, that Harry Kane is now in the wrong for being proud of his amazing baby mama.


Apparently, by expressing his pride, Harry Kane was 'shaming' those who use pain relief during labour. I know, I had to read between the lines an awful lot to get that, too.

He was then forced to defend himself, after receiving so much backlash, and reassured the easily offended that "women can give birth however they would like" explaining how they had done hypnobirthing.

Can we just take a second, though, to notice the best thing about this tweet? The fact that it looks like our England captain is sporting a very sexy grey nightie. 

Hypnobirthing, as I've previously said, teaches you to keep calm and relaxed throughout your labour. It reminds you that your body is capable of more than you realise and puts you in a positive state of mind about your labour, removing that element of fear and the 'fight or flight' response.

Hypnobirthing works as well as your labour lets it. I know people who have practiced hypnobirthing throughout their pregnancy but their labours haven't been straightforward and have meant it's not been as effective.

For me, it worked like a dream. I had a bit of gas and air while in the pool when my contractions started coming thick and fast, but soon had to give it up soon after as I couldn't focus on my breathing while inhaling the gas and air.

Having a lovely time in the birth pool with my LED tea lights and my deep breathing.
Other than that, I had no pain relief at all. When it came to pushing her out, I did it all by myself - focusing on my breathing and keeping a calm, relaxed, positive mindset; even when things started to go wrong.

I was so proud of myself for managing to put into practice everything we learnt. I was proud of being able to channel that positivity and not let myself be scared or worried about what was happening.

But just because I was proud of myself for doing it without any pain relief, and for being able to put into practice everything we learnt during our hypnobirthing classes, doesn't mean that women who opt for pain relief shouldn't be proud, too.

It doesn't mean that women who have to have emergency caesareans shouldn't be proud. Or those who opt for elective caesareans.

Every single woman who brings a child into this world should be proud, and their partners should share that pride. Childbirth, whether natural or not, is bloody hard work.

Pregnancy is hard work, too. Our bodies go through the biggest change in such a short time - I've talked openly with how I struggled with that. Just as I am struggling with getting used to my post-baby body. Our personalities change as the hormones begin to rage; we start to dislike foods, drinks and smells that we previously loved; we swell; we cry... It's just such a glam time...!

So after going through all of that, to bring a baby into this world is something to be shouted about. It doesn't matter how that little bundle of joy enters the world - whether it's in the water, on the bed, on a stool, via surgery, or in the back of a car - the woman who birthed them is amazing.

Our bodies can do incredible things - women are incredible.

Nobody should bash anybody for how they decide to birth their child. Everyone should be rewarded and praised for doing it at all.

Shout it from the rooftops, take a full page ad in your local paper, let everyone know that you survived nine months of pregnancy and birthing the child at the end.

Women are judged enough in this life for every decision they make as a mother. Whether it's the breastfeeding vs formula debate, the dummy brigade or those who judge you for not co-sleeping with your little one, everyone has an opinion.

Nobody should feel judged in their role as a mum. Every child is different - what works for one won't work for another. I hate this society we live in where the media make everything into a competition between people. They make us judge each other without us even realising and that's not on.

Like Mean Girls says: "I wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles and we'd all eat it and be happy".

It's time everyone was kinder to each other, and I really wish the media would start setting a better example of that.

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